We’re all for crossing niggling tasks off your list and getting rid of the stress they cause. But sometimes you need to ignore the laundry and the overgrown lawn and make a date with your best friend. Why do we keep mentioning that you need one? Because the list of health benefits of Vitamin F (as in Friendship) just got longer. Two recent studies show that strong social connections slash your risk for depression and fatal strokes and boost your odds for tip-top well-being by a factor of five.

Regular doses of Vitamin F can make your RealAge 2 to 30 (yes, we said 30!) years younger by acting as a cushion against stress, taming inflammation, making your blood less likely to clot when you’re tense, lowering your risk for a heart attack by up to 50% (compared with people who have few social connections), and exerting a still-mysterious ability to simply sustain life. In one study of 3,000 nurses with breast cancer, those with the most social support were 66% more likely to be alive 10 years after their diagnosis than those with the least support.

Humans are hardwired for social connection -- after all, there was safety in numbers back when we hunted big game with a bow and arrow. One University of California Los Angeles researcher has even documented that our brains register social isolation in the same way we register physical pain.

But do YOU have the kind of close friendships that really keep you healthy? Many of us simply don’t. A recent Duke University survey found that the number of Americans with no one to confide in has doubled to 25% over the past two decades. While we know that is a problem with presidents and prime ministers and even CEOs, it happens to the rest of us as well. Too rushed to grill out with the neighbors or sign up for the local bowling league, our social circles are shrinking faster than an ice shelf in Antarctica. And there’s a new twist: Thanks to cell phones, BlackBerrys, Twitter, Facebook, and the blogosphere, it’s easier than ever to feel connected . . . yet to be disconnected.

Don’t get us wrong. The Internet and the phone are great ways to keep up with close friends. But checking your buddies’ blogs and counting up your Facebook acquaintances isn’t the same as hanging out together, telling your innermost concerns, or having a heart-to-heart. You’ve got genuine Vitamin F in your life if you have friends you can call in an emergency (or who’ll listen patiently while you vent about the ceiling leak), friends who want to help make your life the best it can be (and vice versa), friends with whom you can be honest and truly be yourself.

Plenty of experts will tell you that the best way to end the friendship famine is to go out and meet people. Finding people may be the easy part. It’s what you do next -- with the people you meet at parties, in the supermarket checkout line, at the softball game or at work -- that counts. Cultivating real friendships requires at least four ingredients:

1. Time.
Getting closer won’t happen automatically; you’ve got to spend time together. Too busy to carve out evening or weekend hours for a coffee date or a monster truck rally or an orchid show? Then focus on developing closer friendships with people you already see (and like) in your daily life. Or try multitasking: Ask someone you feel a friendly chemistry with to become your exercise buddy.

2. Attention.
Like spouses and children, friends love to be listened to. No need to fix problems or find solutions. Just ask questions and listen.

3. Vulnerability.
When it feels right, share your feelings, hopes, needs, and experiences. Every friendship follows its own trajectory, so you’ll have to decide when it’ll be OK to ask a new friend to let your dog out because you’ll be home late or to share a personal loss. But true friends are vulnerable with each other; that’s part of what makes it fine to call them at 3 a.m. Trust enough to be vulnerable.

4. Fun and adventure.
Having a great time together -- canoeing, riding a roller coaster, going to the theater, whatever you both like -- can cement a friendship.

We’re sure you have tons of people in your life. Now go ahead and do what you need to do to count on them.

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