YOU Docs Daily
Trying to Recover From a Divorce? Be Nice to YOU
We're both lucky enough to have long, happy marriages. (Extra credit here to Lisa Oz and Nancy Roizen. We're not always peaches!) Unfortunately, like you, we've seen plenty of friends and colleagues go through divorce. While it's never pleasant (understatement, we know), some people manage to come out the other side in pretty good shape, while others crumble and have a terrible time, even in similar situations.
Why? We've just read one explanation. Turns out that if you're trying to regroup from a divorce, or any difficult emotional event (and there are many in these tough times), cut yourself plenty of slack. Show yourself as much compassion as you'd show a best friend struggling through the same mess. Being kind to YOU may be the most vital thing you can do -- even more important than being optimistic or having a healthy sense of self-esteem. Here’s how:
- Don't beat yourself up. Think, "I did the best I could in the circumstances." If something keeps gnawing at you, forgive yourself. Don't get mired in a cycle of self-recrimination.
- Understand that it's not just you. Everyone goes through loss. Difficult experiences are part of the ups and downs of being a human.
- Tap into life's deeper meaning. Be authentic and spiritual, in whatever way makes sense to you.
Oh, there's one other thing that will help you get through it: being a woman. Sorry guys, but surveys show that females recover better from divorce. They even gain less weight afterward!
