When Desire Vanishes, Try This

A team of researchers in Europe wants to help women feel more satisfied -- and they're not talking about meals. They just released preliminary research that suggests there's a pill that can increase libido in premenopausal women.

The pill is flibanserin, which acts on the brain rather than on blood flow (Viagra increases blood flow for men). Women who took 100 milligrams of flibanserin had a significant increase in "sexually satisfying events" compared with women who took a placebo, according to the drug company that funded the research. But before you beg, borrow, or steal to get this pill (it hasn't been approved yet, anyway) or any other, consider that you might not need medication at all -- especially not a newbie drug that can leave you with dizziness, nausea, fatigue, or insomnia.

See, romantic love drives up the feel-good chemicals dopamine and serotonin. You develop a tolerance to dopamine over time, but you can stimulate that dopamine high and do other things to keep the fire burning. (And, by the way, when dopamine loses its power, oxytocin, the hormone of intimacy, comes into play, so it's not really bad.) Doing novel things with someone -- bungee jumping, river rafting, or sneaking into the supply closet -- stimulates dopamine. And knowing your differences can help, too. Men respond to excitement and new visual cues; women to friendly emotional ones. But don't just agree to disagree. Guys, while waiting for that pill, you can look into her eyes to increase intimacy and oxytocin; ladies, you can accept that his arousal can be based on urgency (meaning it's not so bad to leave the lights on or have a quickie).