As any newbie comic -- or 6-year-old vying for attention -- will tell you, gas comes in all forms, sounds, and smells.

Whether it's spurred on by beans, beer, or your Gram's creamed spinach, the average person passes gas about 14 times a day. So bleeps and blips from your insides are nothing to be ashamed of -- they're a sign that you're totally human. All gas results from the fermentation of foods by the trillions of bacteria in your digestive system. The busy bacteria love to process some food more than others, which is why some things you eat create more gas than others.

For a lot of people, talking about colon content sounds about as appealing as playing in it. It's just not something that we talk about much. ("How about that rain today? Did you see Shaq's dunk last night? Your bowels chugging along regularly these days, Frank?") You may think your digestive system is as dirty as George Carlin's jokes, especially when you start throwing around words like colon, rectum, and feces. But it's crucial to talk openly about these things, because a well-lubed digestive system helps you live younger and better. When you consider how many different foods are out there, and how differently all of our bodies respond to them, you'll want to understand how your pipes work and what can cause them to break.