Sex and Sexuality: Talking About It Early and Often
When you talk about sexuality with your children, it's possible that they -- or you -- will feel embarrassed or awkward. You might recall your own introduction to the topic and cringe at the thought of reenacting it. But history doesn't have to repeat itself.
When to bring it up
If you've been waiting for just the right moment to have the big talk, stop mentally hemming and hawing. As the folks at Nike say, "Just do it." Your children's interest in sex isn't going to go away just because you're stalling. And if there's any chance that you can impart your own values about sexuality, you need to talk about it early and often.
In fact, a willingness to answer a young child's questions about his or her body can set the stage for those times when you'll need to have frank discussions about more sensitive topics. Also, having easy, relaxed talks from a young age, rather than one anxiety-ridden conversation at puberty, will help build a healthy, open relationship. And research has shown that kids who feel emotionally connected to their parents and family are more likely to delay sexual activity. Find out more about this.
How to bring it up
Anytime you talk about sexuality with children, there's the possibility that you both will feel uncomfortable. Here are tips for making the discussions easier:
- Relax. Although you should be respectful, you can also have a sense of humor and a willingness to laugh.
- Keep it simple. Give children enough information to satisfy curiosity, but don't overwhelm them with scientific details.
- Be prepared to repeat information until your children understand what you're trying to explain.
- Encourage your children to come back for more information.
- Be willing to say, "I don't know, but we can find out." Then, do the research so you can provide the right answers.
