Never Too Old for Great Sex
Changes in Women
Growing older, particularly for women, tends to be associated with a significant drop in sex drive, but research suggests that some women may actually experience more frequent and more intense orgasms as they age. And after menopause -- without the risk of an unplanned pregnancy -- many women find they enjoy sex more fully and freely than ever before.
Nevertheless, most women will experience a number of changes around menopause that may make sexual activity uncomfortable or even painful. The good news is that many of these changes can be easily remedied.
Age-Related Change #1: Vaginal Dryness
During and after menopause, lower levels of estrogen circulating in a woman's body may cause the lining of the vagina to become dry and fragile. It may feel itchy and sore; as a result, penetrative sex may be painful. If the lining of the vagina is very dry, intercourse can cause chafing and bleeding. So it's easy to see why a woman experiencing vaginal dryness might want to avoid sex.
What You Can Do
Try a water-based vaginal lubricant, such as Replens® or K-Y® Long-Lasting Vaginal Moisturizer. These types of lubricants can help relieve dryness and irritation and are available over-the-counter.
Some lubricants are designed for application just before intercourse, but the longer-lasting moisturizers are specifically for menopause-related dryness and they help keep the vagina moist for up to 72 hours.
Age-Related Change #2: Slower Response Time
As a woman gets older, it may take longer for her body to respond to sexual stimulation. Even when highly aroused, her natural lubrication may take time to kick in, and she may not become as wet as she used to.
What You Can Do
Don't rush things. Spend more time on what's traditionally been considered foreplay, or consider trying a lubricant.
Other Issues That Can Affect Sexuality
Chronic medical conditions, such as arthritis, heart disease, diabetes, and cancer, can affect a person's ability or desire to be sexually active. It's difficult for someone to feel sexy when he or she is in constant pain, feels sick or weak, or is recovering from surgery.
Also, some medications affect sexual functioning. Antidepressants, antihistamines, chemotherapy, and drug treatments for high blood pressure may contribute to erectile dysfunction in men and reduce sexual desire and increase vaginal dryness in women.
No matter what your health issue or age bracket, a little bit of patience, understanding, and creative thinking can help you make the most of your sexuality for many years to come.
Six Steps to Maintain and Enhance Your Sexual Well-Being
- Think positively about yourself and your sexuality. Accept yourself for who you are at every stage in life, and remember that what you bring to the sexual table is something you alone can offer -- a unique expression of your desires, fantasies, fears, and experiences. And that's sexy.
- Talk with your partner about how you both may be changing. Many couples don't spend much time talking to each other about sex, and though it may be awkward at first, this type of intimate exchange, done with respect and care, may bring you much closer together and is likely to have a positive effect on your sex life.
- Remember that there are many ways to enjoy sexual intimacy. Penetration isn't all there is to good sex. Give yourself permission to experiment, alone or with your partner, to discover what feels right for you at this time in life, whether it's a new sexual position, oral sex, cuddling, or choosing not to engage in sexual activity at all.
- Use it or lose it. Remaining sexually active (with or without a partner) helps keep blood pumping to the genital area. For women, this helps with natural lubrication, and for men, it benefits erection and ejaculation.
- Stay healthy. Eating a balanced diet, staying physically active, and maintaining a healthy weight is good for your overall -- and your sexual -- health. Studies show that in men between 65 and 69 years of age, those with type 2 diabetes and heart disease are twice as likely to experience erectile dysfunction (ED) as those without.
- Talk to your doctor if you have concerns about the medications you're using or if you have questions about your sexual health. Not all doctors are comfortable discussing sexual issues and may not be up-to-date on the latest research regarding sexual health. If that's the case, ask for a referral.
